Friday, June 25, 2004

I'm on the Night Train

Dammit, I overslept again, and didn't make it in until like 10:30. I don't know how my body expects me to make any money if it keeps doing this to me. Maybe it's mono, or maybe I'm just really depressed. (Ok, bad movie reference. I know. Hey, could have been worse, I could have said "Maybe it's a tumor, It's not a tooma") But anyway, Steve said he was in a good mood when I got there, so that's always a good sign.

My first call of the night was 2 chicks from Denny's just going to Chain O' Hills, they had the cutest little black boy I have ever seen with them. As he's getting out of the car he puts his little hand up and says "high five, high five" it was just adorable.

Next, I pick up this stripper a few blocks away to take her over to Charlie's Angels. She has these humongous boobs, I'm not sure how she walks. She tells me the whole way that she is so fucked up, she's been smoking blunts and drank 3 bottles of champagne. She can't believe she's going to work this fucked up... as she continuously sniffs coke in the back seat.

Then I take this dude from Krauzer's to Michael Court, he was pretty quiet. He does this often enough, and he tips well so rock on.

I sit in the office for a little while, and Steve asks me to go get him some McDonalds. He always has these Entertainment Book coupons so he gets 2 meals. At 5 bucks, why not? (That is if you aren't one of us people trying to avoid being obese.)

Next, the guy who works at Poor Billy's home to Clark. Poor Billy's has the worst parking lot in the world in my opinion. It's all brick, and there's like this circle carport type dealie where people pull up for valet parking, (Which they won't let you into the club without using.) and it is ALWAYS backed up. The only good thing about this parking lot is one of the valet attendants is rather cute, and tends to flirt with me.

From there I take one of the Mexicans home from Red Lobster to Carteret. If you are not familiar with Woodbridge, there are about 5 houses in the area that the Mexicans live in. And they ALL live in 1 of these 5 houses. (about 40 per house it seems) Some drivers bitch about the Mexicans, personally I don't mind them. They always pay for their rides, they usually tip (even if only 50 cents), they don't really cause problems (well with us anyway... they stab each other, but they are very quiet about it), and they work REALLY hard for their $2 an hour. They do all the jobs that you or I certainly wouldn't want. So I figure let them be.

The next girl I pick up is a freakin mess. She's going on a drunken booty call to her ex ex ex ex-boyfriends, as she puts it. She asks me to stop at 7-11 so she can pick up some condoms, which unfortunately she gives me a way too descriptive explanation as to why she needs them. She also tells me all about her evening getting drunk and puking on her front porch. (again, one of those things maybe I didn't need quite so colorfully described)

I run over to grab the Irish chick from O'Hallorans and she regales me with the story of a baby bird she saw dying on the ground this morning and how it reminded her of a human baby struggling on the ground. Really uplifting, if you see no other movie this year...

From there I run to Poor Billy's and wind up with these 5 drunk screaming kids. Not a one of them could have been even close to 21. The one in the front seat insists that they go "to the black guy" while the small blonde in the backseat sings "yay-ya yay-ya yay-ya" over and over again. He was unsuccessful in collecting money from his friends so he decided not to go. I was glad, he didn't seem to have any idea where he was going... all he knew was "it's in the hood" and a few random lefts and rights.

Next was a guy going from one mexican house to another. Just as I was getting ready to tell him "cinco cincuenta" ($5.50, the only spanish I know, and their usual fare) he shocked the shit out of me by speaking almost perfect english. I felt almost a mothers pride for him! He was pretty cool though.

The next guy I grabbed from the train station was freaking gorgeous. Total pretty boy with bright blue eyes and spiky blond hair all dressed up in a suit and tie. While on route some drunk ass drove his Blazer up over a curb and practically flipped over. I said something along the lines of how everybody seems to be drunk tonight, and the guy in the back says "tell me about it, me too". He tells me he had just 1 too many bong hits in the city before realizing how far from home he was, and now he just wants to put the covers over his head and die. Hope he didn't actually die, he was way too pretty.

Back to the train for some dude to Careret, who insists on asking me my life story, but doesn't seem to like it when I ask him questions. He tells me I "seem" too cute to be driving a cab. Whatever that means.

A very small Puerto Rican girl sneaks out of a house in Port Reading, and goes to Perth Amboy. She didn't say a word other than the address she was going to.

A regular chick to work at Shop Rite, usually this one is never ready, and you always have to wait. But she was pretty quick this morning.

The last guy I take is a garbageman in Newark. He had a very strange accent (almost sounded like crackhead-ese), and a horrible stutter. I guess the guy who normally drives him to work blew him off today. He gave terrible directions there, but excellent ones to get back. His job paid for him to come in, and they actually tipped. Let me tell you it's a lot of fun to sit in a Public Works parking lot at 5 am with all the garbagemen circling you like vultures. Not.

As I was in the office booking out I heard about another driver who totaled a car pulling out of the shop parking lot where we get our cars serviced yesterday. Hope he's ok. Supposedly the airbag saved his life. He was in the new 25 car, they just aren't having any luck with that number as I wrecked the last 25 car in February. Whoops. Still dealing with the traffic ticket on that one.

Anyway, gas up and go home.


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