Wednesday, June 23, 2004


I overslept last night and woke up at 2am. Hence totally missed work. That's the good thing about my job, I don't feel like going, I don't.
So in the interest of posting something, I figure I will talk a little bit about some of our other drivers. Now, I don't intend to come off mean about anyone, but the truth about how truly fucked up we all are may not come out exactly nice. So in the interest of protecting those who may not know they are being immortalized here I will change their names. The very astute of you out there may be able to figure out who is who, but I will leave that to you. Also this isn't every driver with the company, just the ones I see most.

I will actually start with me. A mood-shifter can go from manic happy & hyper to pissed off, quiet & miserable with head-spinning speed. Either the nicest person you will ever ride with or the meanest.

Crazy (he actually may answer to this from time to time) - One of the angriest people I've ever met, he is banned from 7-11 for destroying the store. This is actually a pretty funny story. He spilled some hot tea on his hand and it hurt, so he knocked over the entire stock of cups they had on the counter, and when the indian guy asked him what the hell he was doing he grabbed the potato chip rack and threw it to the floor. Thankfully for him the rest of us are in there all the time so he called the office and the dispatcher managed to dissuade him from calling the police. Also for 20 something years old has the worst case of ADD I've ever seen.

Sam - A dispatcher, the only person in the world (that I know of) who can match my mood swings. When he isn't happy, he makes sure no one is happy. I like Sam, not many people do. That is one of the good things about working with him is no one else will. He has had quite a few fights with other drivers. We went out one morning after work for a few drinks, and he told me that I am one of the few people he's ever met that he considers on his level, as in not below his intelligence. I'm pretty sure this was meant as a compliment, but it didn't come off as very nice. He also isn't very nice to people on the phone. Which gets him threatened pretty often. Overall, I do really like working with him though.

Pete - Another dispatcher. Pete has the sexiest voice in the whole world. He just had a baby and his girlfriend hates me. She came to the office one day while I was sitting on the desk talking to another driver who happened to be in the bathroom when she walked in. Mind you I was nowhere near Pete, but you know how women can be. I feel bad for Pete, he deals with a lot of stress.

Abe - Abe is one of the managers, the only reason he works here is he's married to the owners daughter. He "works" for about 4 hrs. A day. Mostly talking on his cell phone, playing poker online, and making Pete's life miserable.

Harold - Main manager. Extremely nice, and terribly forgiving guy. Is like a 10th degree black belt in I believe TaeKwonDoe. He is amazingly patient. Abe is desperate to take over his job.

P.C. - His only job is calling the Welfare people and asking them if they are going to their appts. (doctor, meth clinic, etc.)PC will talk constantly in a straight monotone. Also drives Pete nuts. Poor Pete.

Bob - Bob works at night too. The world hates Bob because he's black. In his head anyway. He used to work for Lucent Technologies. When they majorly downsized and fired hundreds if not thousands of people, Bob was let go because he was black. Again in his head. He doesn't book much because he can never be found. Usually he is out wandering around somewhere. (in Iselin we believe) Also usually pretending to be on his cell phone having seemingly business conversations (at 4:30 in the morning.)

Ollie - Way to smart to be doing this. As a matter of fact, in testament to his intelligence, I mentioned to him the other night how smart I thought he was, and he told me smart meant "pregnant" in German. The guy seems to know a hell of a lot about a hell of a lot without coming off as a know-it-all. Ollie is great. He also quits drinking and smoking cigarettes about once a week. (He does these a LOT)

Donnie - Donnie works a swing type shift, he leaves not long after I do. Donnie drinks a lot. (Hey pretty much all of us do. Comes with the job I think) He kind of looks like Wilford Brimley, but his girlfriend is 10 years younger than he is and quite pretty. He's a lot nicer to me since I switched shifts, as he used to bitch I get all the good calls. If so it's only because he refuses them first. I have gotten some pretty excellent run-off calls from him. He won't want to go because he has to call his girlfriend, or use the bathroom, or stay at Metro or whatever. Nobody knows why, but hey it's his money.

Regular - This is his real handle, I'm using it cause he may read this one day, and he was a pretty good friend of mine. He talked me into taking the job. (Thanks a lot dude!) He used to be a 12-8er, but he's switched to the day shift now, so I never see him out anymore. Good guy. His thing is also drinking, a self-admitted drunk. (Again like the rest of us.)

Jim - A freelance photographer who doesn't do so well at it, I recall he was at I believe it was Gulianni's last day as mayor thing, to take pictures to sell to the newspapers, but he didn;t develop them for like a week. Jim isn't very bright (or very clean, he can be pretty ripe sometimes). There is a really funny story about him. He had a passenger in the car and had asked her if she minded if he stopped at Dunkin Donuts to grab a cup of coffee real quick. Well I guess he forgot he had her in the car because he got his coffee and proceeded to sit down and read the newspaper while she sat in the car and watched this. He needs a ride home every night, but no one wants to take him, he lives about 20 min. away and hands you like $2 if at all.

Mellow - This guy is cool as hell. He also dispatches. I love working with Mellow. He's always dressed nice, one of those people who makes sweatpants look good. Only guy I know that looks good at 3:00 in the morning on a Sunday. He works a lot. This is his second job, I don't know how he does it. He's sports guy, always a game on. (Yes even golf, on TV?!?) He's usually betting on the games I believe. He runs his own poker tournaments as well.

Carl - I don't like Carl. He's got some sort of fascination with me. I asked him out for a couple of drinks once just to be nice. (Dispatchers make you or break you, and I usually made good money with Carl.) He thought it was a date. Not quite dude. For the next week, he rang my damn phone off the hook. He's pretty new at dispatching, and he's not very good at it. I think you need just a touch of intelligence to do it if you get my drift.

Marie - Marie talks a LOT. Usually it's bitching. Scratch that it's ALWAYS bitching. Whether it's her health, or her car, or the customers, or the other drivers, it's always something. She will curse your name up and down, then be your best friend to your face. Marie HATES me. Darn. Another big drinker.

Bigpants - She's new. I don't know her that well other than the fact that she's usually hitting on all the drivers. And this the nickname they've given her on the dayshift. I hear she's leaving soon to move to Tenn. with some dude she met on the internet.

Todd - Knows everything. (Or so he'll tell you) Not a bad guy, another one I like working with, when I can get a thought in edgewise. (yes thought, not word, thought) No chance to think with him talking at the top of his voice.

Jim - Funny as hell. Jim has VERY recently started dispatching. A Lee St. graduate. (Raritan Bay Mental Health counseling, we drive a lot of welfarians here during the day.) He's kind of a manic personality, but fucking hysterical. He once told me he recently found out he's allergic to alcohol, he breaks out in handcuffs & restraining orders. I really like Jim.

I will probably use these people's real names in the posts if I talk about them, so good luck figuring out who is who. This is in no way a complete list (there are probably better than 30 drivers in all) but I'd better head off to work, so I'll be back first thing in the morning to tell you about my night. Again, please bear in mind that I am not trying to be mean in anyway about these people, just subjective. I remember once during my first week, I called Regular, and asked him if there was a single person who worked for us that was at all normal. He thought really hard for a minute and came up with a solid no. We are all seriously fucked up in one way or another, and we all have our vices. But then again isn't that true of everyone?


Anonymous Anonymous said...

All Of those I figured out kinda who is who, especially Crazy. I haven't seen me in that group....yet. I mostly get to see ya on Sat. or when Steve seems to be having a good night. I am a driver and not yet on that list, is this a good thing or bad? I'll be looking in the future. BTW, I think Harold left for Colorado, for good.

6:22 AM  
Blogger Moonlighter said...

I was actually able to figure out most of the names, especially Crazy. I only see you when I work Sat. nights or when Steve seems to be in a good mood. I am a driver and haven't seen my name there.....yet. I wonder if this is a good thing? :) BTW I think Harold is gone to Colorado, for good.

6:51 AM  

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